i’ve been navigating the seas of your mind, these hurricane desires and your tumultuous needs

the great white whale of contentment eludes me

so i think i’ll dive into this raging sea, though my mind is spent and my body weak. it’s futile, i agree, yet i’d prefer to perish in your undertow – arms flailing, lungs full of brackish saltwater, spitting these words out into the void. a full-blooded exercise, a reminder of my mortality, just before the tide takes me.

but then i realize i’m still not awake
it’s a reverie too real to rouse, and a reality too resolved to embrace

(thailand)